Personal Essay

I woke up the next morning like nothing had happened, stumbling out of bed; making my way to the bathroom half asleep still. It was only about 9:00 am and to my surprise, my brother was already up, in the kitchen reading the newspaper. As I made my way over, I can still remember the look on his face as he glanced up at me. He said “Your not going to believe this..” and turned the newspaper my way. I looked down at the paper, and right away I could feel a knot forming in my stomach. On the front of The Herald News almost taking up the whole front page was a picture of me, my aunt, and my va-vo. Following the picture was an article that would be revealing a very special, yet personal moment for me in my life; meeting my mother for the first time.
When I was only 8 months old, me and my brother, Joey were taken away from our mother. From what my brother tells me, our mom was awesome. I remember him telling me stories how he was fascinated with the ninja turtles and my mom bought him everything ninja turtles for his room; from bed sets to ceiling stickers. As he would joke with me saying “ Mommy was notorious for finding the coolest stuff!” Every time a new game came out for Nintendo that my brother would want, she would not only buy it for him, but spend hours playing it with him. He showed me pictures and told me how my mom would always love to give me baths, making sure the tub was filled with toys for me. But with her ups, there came downs; she started getting involved with drugs and eventually got arrested for it. Shortly after that the state decided they would be deporting her back to Portugal, where she was originally born.
Thankfully my aunt, Frances decided to take me and my brother in and raise us. Besides me and Joey, my aunt also had three children of her own. She took on a big responsibility, but knew it was the best for us. While growing up, I occasionally spoke with my mother over the phone, shared letters and exchanged photos. When I was old enough to understand, my Aunt explained to me everything that had happened and that my mother made some wrong choices. Those choices cost her a complete life change, not only for herself, but for me and my brother as well.
One day my aunt got a call from her good friend, Sheriff Thomas Hodgson of the Bristol County House of Corrections. He explained to my aunt they would be conducting a video visitation program coordinated by the Azorean minister of interior, where my mother was staying at the time. Hodgson invited us to be the first to try it out. I can recall the day we went as if it was yesterday. I was all dressed and ready by 11:00 am regardless we had to be there for 1:00 pm. Walking in was fairly awkward, having to walk through metal detectors and just the cold feeling of the solid cement walls. We were brought into an empty room, where there was a camera set up above a television screen.
Actually seeing my mother was one of the best feelings in the world. My first instinct was to smile, but I couldn’t help but cry in joy. We repeated “I love you” and blew kisses in each other’s direction. I was surprised to see she had her right eyebrow pierced, especially in an earlier letter she told me I better never get any crazy tattoos or piercing. She had asked me to stand so she could see how tall I was, anxiously I stood up and twirled to show off my figure for her. Till this day when I think of my mother, I picture her big white smile she had that easily lit up the room the entire time. With each of our gestures, cameras flashed while reporters scribbled down our intimate dialogue. It was a common family moment in a not so common setting and situation. At first I was uncomfortable, but overall I got what was most important and that was being able to meet my mother. With my situation it doesn’t make me bitter towards my mom, its just influences me to make good choices. I’ve always told myself when I have a child, I will never do anything that will negatively effect his/her life. I want to be an awesome mom like my brother had described, maybe even finding some cool ceiling stickers my child will enjoy. Hopefully in the future I will get to met her with no cameras or televisions; but actually flying to Portugal to visit her face to face.